assisting with a youth group or volunteering in a hospice are examples of this type of love.
âAltruistic love expands the idea of brotherly love. The Greeks called it agape, the highest form of love, utterly unselfish. It could be seen in the love of God for humanity or in the unselfish, sacrificing love of a person for others. Many of the Nobel Peace Prize winners exhibit this type of love. Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa or the lawyer Peter Benenson, who founded Amnesty International and won the Nobel peace prize in 1977, are such examples.â
ââThanks Ray, very well said. It reminds me that Fromm spent a good deal of time analyzing the kinds of love that people might show towards others. The kinds of love were differentiated according to: The qualifications of the persons who were to be the subjects of the loving actionsâtheir intelligence, sexual attraction, or simply the fact that they were human beings-- and the relationship to the person doing the loving, such as a spouse or a child.
âWhile Montagu defined the characteristics of concern and behavior necessary in any love relationship, Fromm found some overlap and some differences depending on the type of relationship. So we might look to Fromm for another point of view and perhaps a broader perspective on the kinds of relationships in which loving behavior can occur. The types of relationships in which Fromm found that love can exist include:
âUnconditional love, the ideal is often found in what we observe as âmotherâs loveâ in which the person is loved no matter what that person has done. Not all mothers exhibit this type of mother love. Many fathers exhibit this unconditional love. Some years ago there was a radio interview with a woman whose son was about to be executed for the slaying of two police officers. The mother kept repeating that, "her son was such a good boy." She "loved" him in spite of what he had done. But one wonders how he would have turned out if she had really loved him early in life in the sense that Montagu describes in his definition.
"Conditional love is dependent on a condition in order for love to occur. In other words, the person is loved if that love has been earned somehow. It can be viewed as a kind of approval of a person because they have acted in a certain way. Sometimes parents âloveâ their children when they perform. The star quarterback is âlovedâ, the smart daughter is âloved.â Fromm associated this type of love with fathers, although he noted that many mothers also love conditionally. This type of love is probably more related to âpower overâ, when one gets approval if they do what that person wants. It doesnât qualify under Montaguâs definition. But it does comport with what many people think of when they say they love somebody.
âSpousal love is defined by Fromm as âevaluation and emotion.â It has been similarly and aptly described by the prominent European philosopher, Sophia Loren, as being âamorous reciprocal esteem.â Fromm and Loren are saying the same thing-- that love of a person of the opposite sex consists of liking the qualities of that person and being âturned onâ by them in a sexual way.
âLove is not what you say, but what you do. How often have we said, âI love you,â when we really meant, âI want you.â Our basic selfishness must be overcome before we can be a real lover.
âFromm also listed friendship love. One can âloveâ friends by having a positive feeling
âAltruistic love expands the idea of brotherly love. The Greeks called it agape, the highest form of love, utterly unselfish. It could be seen in the love of God for humanity or in the unselfish, sacrificing love of a person for others. Many of the Nobel Peace Prize winners exhibit this type of love. Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa or the lawyer Peter Benenson, who founded Amnesty International and won the Nobel peace prize in 1977, are such examples.â
ââThanks Ray, very well said. It reminds me that Fromm spent a good deal of time analyzing the kinds of love that people might show towards others. The kinds of love were differentiated according to: The qualifications of the persons who were to be the subjects of the loving actionsâtheir intelligence, sexual attraction, or simply the fact that they were human beings-- and the relationship to the person doing the loving, such as a spouse or a child.
âWhile Montagu defined the characteristics of concern and behavior necessary in any love relationship, Fromm found some overlap and some differences depending on the type of relationship. So we might look to Fromm for another point of view and perhaps a broader perspective on the kinds of relationships in which loving behavior can occur. The types of relationships in which Fromm found that love can exist include:
âUnconditional love, the ideal is often found in what we observe as âmotherâs loveâ in which the person is loved no matter what that person has done. Not all mothers exhibit this type of mother love. Many fathers exhibit this unconditional love. Some years ago there was a radio interview with a woman whose son was about to be executed for the slaying of two police officers. The mother kept repeating that, "her son was such a good boy." She "loved" him in spite of what he had done. But one wonders how he would have turned out if she had really loved him early in life in the sense that Montagu describes in his definition.
"Conditional love is dependent on a condition in order for love to occur. In other words, the person is loved if that love has been earned somehow. It can be viewed as a kind of approval of a person because they have acted in a certain way. Sometimes parents âloveâ their children when they perform. The star quarterback is âlovedâ, the smart daughter is âloved.â Fromm associated this type of love with fathers, although he noted that many mothers also love conditionally. This type of love is probably more related to âpower overâ, when one gets approval if they do what that person wants. It doesnât qualify under Montaguâs definition. But it does comport with what many people think of when they say they love somebody.
âSpousal love is defined by Fromm as âevaluation and emotion.â It has been similarly and aptly described by the prominent European philosopher, Sophia Loren, as being âamorous reciprocal esteem.â Fromm and Loren are saying the same thing-- that love of a person of the opposite sex consists of liking the qualities of that person and being âturned onâ by them in a sexual way.
âLove is not what you say, but what you do. How often have we said, âI love you,â when we really meant, âI want you.â Our basic selfishness must be overcome before we can be a real lover.
âFromm also listed friendship love. One can âloveâ friends by having a positive feeling