But such actions only magnify the problems and widen the gap between the two. True lovers can speak their innermost thoughts to each other, secure in the belief that such communication will strengthen rather than weaken the relationship. We expose prospective mates to these opportunities and the hurdles. Thatâs why we have required pre-marital counseling and optional annual counseling. Todayâs world is so much more difficult than previous times because the opportunities are so vast. And because of the myriad or opportunities, the grass often looks greener in other places. We want the grass to be greenest in the familyâs back yard. This attention to the married couple, and to the family if they have children, has reduced Singalingâs divorce rate to under ten percent. So it is much lower than in most of your Western counties.
âIn our schools and in our pre-marital counseling we stress that intimacy is an essential in a romantic type of love. Couples must be aware that it requires acceptance of the other person to such a degree that one's innermost secrets can be shared. Women are much better about sharing than are men in Singaling, just as in your country. Men often have trouble because if they reveal fears or weaknesses they feel they lose control and sacrifice some of the strength and power that is supposed to be a masculine imperative. We stress that when secrets are shared they must be held in strictest confidence. It breaks a sacred trust to tell them to anyone--ever!
âIntimacy also means sharing at least some interests. Some couples share everything and may grow in the process. Others go different directions sometimes, possibly growing, then come back to share. It is important to grow just as it is important to share. Intellectual, psychological, and recreational areas give us fertile opportunities for personal growth which can be shared.
âWe might consider that there are three parts of a love relationship--each partner and the couple. Many of the most successful couples today have lives that are quite separate from the relationship. It's not like the old days when both people worked on the farm and totally shared a life. In the modern world, especially in the two career relationships, there are two lives--but those lives meet often. And depending on their needs and the individualsâ capabilities for loving--there is often a dynamite relationship.
âTo evaluate our love we should look at the respect, care, and responsibility which
âIn our schools and in our pre-marital counseling we stress that intimacy is an essential in a romantic type of love. Couples must be aware that it requires acceptance of the other person to such a degree that one's innermost secrets can be shared. Women are much better about sharing than are men in Singaling, just as in your country. Men often have trouble because if they reveal fears or weaknesses they feel they lose control and sacrifice some of the strength and power that is supposed to be a masculine imperative. We stress that when secrets are shared they must be held in strictest confidence. It breaks a sacred trust to tell them to anyone--ever!
âIntimacy also means sharing at least some interests. Some couples share everything and may grow in the process. Others go different directions sometimes, possibly growing, then come back to share. It is important to grow just as it is important to share. Intellectual, psychological, and recreational areas give us fertile opportunities for personal growth which can be shared.
âWe might consider that there are three parts of a love relationship--each partner and the couple. Many of the most successful couples today have lives that are quite separate from the relationship. It's not like the old days when both people worked on the farm and totally shared a life. In the modern world, especially in the two career relationships, there are two lives--but those lives meet often. And depending on their needs and the individualsâ capabilities for loving--there is often a dynamite relationship.
âTo evaluate our love we should look at the respect, care, and responsibility which